Couples Therapy.
Understanding the pattern between you — not just managing the last fight.
The premise
Most couples don't need help managing the latest fight. They need help understanding the pattern that keeps producing the fight. The one that starts before the words start — the moment one of you flinches, the moment the other one goes quiet, the moment both nervous systems brace for a hit that hasn't even landed yet.
That's what we work on. We name what's actually happening in the room between you. We map the nervous-system choreography underneath the content. And we build the kind of repair you can do in real time — not the kind that requires another session before either of you can breathe again.
The entry point
We start with a 90-minute couple assessment. That gives me enough time to hear both of you, understand the pattern you're stuck in, and get honest with you about what a steady rhythm of work would look like — and whether couples therapy is actually the right container right now.
Who this is for
- Partners stuck in a loop you both recognize and neither of you can seem to interrupt
- Partners after a rupture — an affair, a betrayal, a hard season — trying to figure out whether and how to rebuild
- Partners where one person has been carrying more of the emotional load for a long time
- Partners whose earlier relational history is showing up in this one
Who this is not for
If there is active abuse, coercive control, or ongoing violence in the relationship, couples therapy is not the right container — and can make things less safe, not more. I'll say so plainly, and I'll help point you toward the right kind of support.
Where it happens
In person at the Temecula, CA office, or by secure telehealth across California. See rates for the assessment fee and the ongoing session rate.
Couples therapy by location
For local details, see couples therapy in Temecula or couples therapy in Murrieta.
Common questions.
What happens in the 90-minute assessment?
The assessment gives me time to hear both of you — the pattern you keep landing in, what each of you has already tried, what you're hoping for. I ask questions of both partners. Nothing gets diagnosed and no plan gets pushed. At the end we decide together whether an ongoing rhythm makes sense and what that would look like.
What if only one of us wants to be here?
That's honest information, and it's worth naming out loud in the room. Sometimes a partner shows up skeptical and finds their footing once they see how this actually works. Sometimes it turns out couples therapy isn't the right container right now and one or both of you would be better served by individual work first. We can talk about that plainly.
Do you take sides?
No. My allegiance is to the relationship itself and to both of you as individuals. That means naming patterns clearly — including patterns that are painful to hear — without turning one of you into the problem.
Can we do couples therapy online?
Yes. Secure telehealth across California works well for couples, and often makes it easier when you're in two different rooms of the same house or a partner travels for work. In-person sessions are available at the Temecula, CA office.